Lindsey McDonald (lindsey_lives) wrote in be_heroes,
Lindsey McDonald

You need to wake up. You have to get out of here before they figure out where you are. I moaned as my eyes opened. Seemed like every part of me was in pain right now. Looking at my arm, I winced. The skin was still raw, cracked, and bleeding. It had improved a little from that guy's blood, but I would need a lot more. Darla had taken forever to heal when she'd been burned.

Crawling out from under the desk, I looked around. Couldn't feel the sun any more, so now I could run again. Except, I didn't know where I should go. She wouldn't want me around, not after what I did, so I couldn't go home. Couldn't go to Wolfram and Hart, they'd go after me for attacking Cordelia. Couldn't go to see Alyx because the bitch would fry my ass.

Think about it, you can go anywhere now. You're free. Undead, but still free. Why don't you get in a car, pick a direction, and drive? "Because I still love her." So you beat the shit out of her to prove that? "I didn't mean to do that, it just... happened." Yeah, I'm sure she sees it like that. Maybe the two of you need a break. Leave for a while, see if she calls. She has your cell number and you have hers.

The voice in my head had a point. "I'll leave her a message. Then she can get back to me." That sounded like a good plan. I rooted around in my pocket until I found my cell and pulled it out, wincing as the burn cracked open further. Pushing the buttons, I sat on the edge of the desk.

Her phone was busy, so I left a voice mail. "Baby, it's me. I know you probably hate me right now, and I don't blame you. I don't know why I did it, I just snapped. I'm so sorry. Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to get out of LA for a while, try to come to terms with what I am now. If you want to talk to me, you've got my cell number. I still love you, darlin'."

I hung up, sticking the phone back. Time to go. No one had come into the room to check on the man I'd killed. Guess no one gave a fuck about him either. Found his car keys and walked into the lot, hitting the little button on the key chain until I spotted the one that had belonged to him. Getting into it, I let my bad arm drop to my side. Doing things one-handed was old hat now. I started it up, fiddling with the radio until I found a country station.

East seemed like the best direction. I hadn't been to Oklahoma in years. Missed the place. I could find myself a place in one of the larger cities, feed when I needed to, and get used to being undead. Maybe she'd want to come and see me, maybe she'd rather stick with her Mommy. I didn't deserve someone like her anyway. Hitting the highway, I weaved in and out of traffic. Didn't have the faintest idea about what I was doing, but I'd figure it out as I went along. Why do I always end up being alone?
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