Nina Ash (wolfnina) wrote in be_heroes,
Nina Ash
wolfnina
be_heroes

I kinda always knew I'd end up your ex-girlfriend

My eyes watched Connor's back as he disappeared back out into the hallway, leaving me alone with Cordelia. Cordelia. She was like a celebrity or something, I'd heard so much about her. She was the one who gave Angel his perfect moment of happiness apparently. I thought I might be angry with her about it, but I wasn't. Mostly I was just too relieved that I wasn't the one who had managed to bring the monster out in him. No, I couldn't give him that happiness because he didn't love me. I wanted to be sad about it, but the fact was he had already made it perfectly clear how he felt about me. He'd never lied about it, and when he handed me those three tickets to Rome I knew it more than I had before. Stupid to think that if I just waltzed into his office to confront him everything would go back to the way it had been before the rewind.

Everything happened for a reason, or at least that was a philosophy I used to buy and sell. I hated to think of what would have happened if Connor hadn't shown up when he did. Unconsciously I rubbed the bruises on my throat, the ones I knew would likely be faded and disappear within a day's time. One advantage to being weregirl, I healed a whole lot faster now. But I didn't have to worry about what had happened because Connor had come in with weapons, and hadn't exactly beat Angel but he'd saved me. That meant something in my book. It overshadowed my fear of Angel, and the impending embarressment at being caught up in such a precarious position. At least Connor hadn't wandered in when Angel had me pressed into his desk. Of course, picking my panties up off of the floor after all was said and done was probably a dead give away.

Why hadn't my stubborn streak held out just a bit longer? I could have avoided this whole situation, and be nothing but a footnote in Angel's existance, if even that. Then I wouldn't have to worry about curses and vampires, and vampire's sons. How did vampires have kids anyway? I had no idea, but I did know that Connor was Angel's son without a shadow of a doubt. He was so brave, with that vaguely haunted look in his eyes. I wondered idly if he had a curse too. None of my business.

"I'm going to call my sister." I said, shooting Cordelia an awkward look before turning to the phone sitting atop the nightstand.

Sitting down on the bed, I picked up the receiver off the hook and wondered what exactly I was going to tell Jill that wasn't going to have her freaking out. I was supposed to babysit Amanda tonight too. She really wasn't going to be happy. Still, I had to call her for a variety of reasons. Mostly because I didn't want her to worry about me and also because I didn't want her inviting strange vampires in the house. Of course, I couldn't exactly tell her that, now could I? Finally I just dialed the number. Suck it up, Nina.

"Hello?"

"Jill. Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm not coming home tonight...I'm not sure when I will be home actually." I knew I was talking too fast, but I'd always been a crappy liar.

"Nina....you're supposed to watch Amanda tonight. Where are you going?" She sounded pissed off, it was easy to hear it in her voice.

"I know. I'm sorry, but this...thing came up and I have to go. It's for school, an art project I'm working on with some people." Oh yeah, fangs sinking into my throat. Some art project. Wincing I put a hand to my neck unconsciously before resting it back on my lap again.

"I really don't understand you sometimes."

"I know." With a sigh, I knew there was no way to make this better for her. I couldn't tell her what I was now. She wouldn't understand. She loved me, but she wouldn't understand about werewolves and vampires and demons. "Also...ummm...I've been reading in the newspaper about this psycho in L.A. So will you just make sure not to invite any strangers in the house?" Oh God, how lame could I possibly get? Pretty lame apparently. "No one. If you don't know who they are, don't invite them in."

"I'm worried about you, Nina. Are you on drugs? You can tell me anything, you know that right?" As if it were really that easy, and if only I was actually not on drugs and didn't become a hellbeast a couple nights a month. There were some things I really couldn't tell her.

"No. I'm not on drugs. I just...need to go. So promise me, ok?"

"Okay....I promise." She sighed annoyed, and I smiled almost able to picture that look on her face perfectly.

"I'll see you soon." I promised her before I hung up the phone. With another sigh I tilted my chin down and ran both hands through fine pale hair. Why? Why did I decide today was the best day to go and confront Angel?

Finally I turned my face up to glance at Cordelia, who was still watching me wearily. What? I wasn't the one who did it, that was her. Shouldn't I be the one giving her that look?

"You don't have a cigarette, do you?" I finally asked her. Actually, I'd kill for a joint right about now. Well, not kill kill. There was already enough of that going around.
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